眼前出现你海市蜃楼般的微笑。

like finally, i've finished reading destiny cries. whole night didnt sleep, was waiting for K to reply my text. anyways, like destiny, i long for true love as well.. i've been through too much, many ups & downs. fxckers come & go in my life thinking they're not affecting me at all. whenever i get over one & thought th next one would be a better guy - MY PRINCE CHARMING but NO! my initial prince charming turned out to be another fxcker who's gonna ruin my life again, everytime i lose a r/s i lose a part of me as well. continuously like that, im just gonna be a living dead. i seriously wonder if ever i'll have th chance to meet my right guy, i hope he's not too long then.. im not being despo, i just want to feel that im being loved & protected by someone. in that story, destiny had no choice but to die, while me keep finding reasons to live on, but we're somehow similar isnt it? this is th ironic part of life , some people badly wants to die while others keep finding reasons to live on, even if it lasted only for few days. i belong to th latter, but after i die i wonder who would really think of me & th times i had with them, be it happy or sad. i seriously dont wish to die & get buried off somewhere just like that. i hope there'll be people who remember me. i hope they can remember me as th girl who aften tried hard even tho no one else agrees with her doing & she tends to fail in th end like expected too. BUT at least this girl tried, very hard. i hated to be forgotten, no one likes it. so many things have happened recently, they're too much for me to take, i need a pair of listening ears, who shall they belong to? who is willing to lend me a pair of listening ears & shoulders to cry on, CALL ME! PLEASE! at least let me know there's someone there for me.

THE PAST 2 DAYS WAS WONDERFUL :)
WILL K STILL TEXT ME TONIGHT?
or he probably got sick of me already.


I am ready to die now, but I'm only seventeen this year.
There are over 6 billion people in this world;
my death is unlikely to stir up the world.
There are over hundreds of people dying everyday.
Who cares about my death? Who shall mourn over me?
Who shall miss me?
I have been fortunate to live in this world for seventeen years.
At least, I’ve experienced the full spectrum of happiness and misery by now.
At least, I have not lived in vain.

There are so many people who do not even live to see
all that the beautiful world has to offer.
There are people who do not even have the chance to experience the beauty of love.
There are so many more who deserve more sympathy than I do.
Do they shed their tears in silence?
Do they bury their sorrows deep within their hearts?
I want to tell the world about my misery because
I am tired of hiding the depression in my soul.

Images invade my mind, pounding against my temples.
They are memories: the images of my life.
Once I jump off the building; I will die; I will be shattered to pieces…
But, once I die, my memories will be resurrected;
they will merge to form the story of my life.

This is my story: A story that is made up of my innermost feelings.
Words cannot fully narrate the entire tale.
Put yourself in my shoes. You have to feel it.
But, be forewarned: I hold no responsibility for your reactions towards the end.

If you are too hardened, don't try to understand my life story.
They are all my innermost feelings.
Feelings you might have never experience.