IT'S THE HARDEST WORD. I'm really very- Sor, sor, sor, sor, sorry..
As Elton John sang in the seventies, "Sorry seems to be the hardest word." Here's the real dirt. We will all experience moments of poor judgement in our lifetime. We will do or say something that we shouldn't, or let someone down in some way, and that is life. It's real. One infraction does not have to ruin a friendship. That is, if you can realize it warrants an apology and then deliver one. Apologies are tricky. Most people don't want to revisit their poor behaviour, so it's easier to pretend that it did not happen or, worse, rewrite history. That's annoying, to say the very least.
"Sorry" shouldn't be used like a break-free word. You can't have all the priviledge of being mean or cruel or even hurtful just because you know you can always pull out this magical word and do miracle by making it all better. It's just ultimately stupid and lame to have such a thinking. But if you can effectively express how sorry you are, there are possibilities on saving a few friendships in your future that are worth holding onto. All human err, so there's nothing wrong in making mistakes. The key is owning up and move on with few regrets.
ADVICE:WHAT IF... you really and truly don't feel like an apology to a friend is warranted but you still want to try to get over this mess? In my opinion, the best way to do thid is not to ignore the problem, but rather to go and talk to your friend. Tell him/her, "I want us to get over this." Followed by asking him/her, "How do you think we can do that?" Make sure you have some ideas to get over it as well.
ART OF SAYING "SORRY."
1. Be Specific: Don't ever say "I'm sorry for whatever it is you think I did" or make any other generic apology that implies you aren't really sorry. That's like saying "I'm sorry if I hurt you." NO "IF" ALLOWED! Tell your friend exactly what you are apologising for, let him/her knows you're genuine.
2. Take Responsibility: Don't pass the blame off and never give excuses. Sorry saying is never a time suitable for that. Using the word "I" when you apologise is equivilant as saying you're taking responsibility.
3. Show that you get it: Think about how you'd react and feel assuming that now the tables got turned around and you're the one being the victim. Stand in her position and think what can be done to appease her anger. This would help you to understand about how she's truly feeling. Practise your level of empathy!
4. Explain: This is tricky, because it may appear to be an excuse if it's not done properly. Dig deep and ponder on the real reason on why you did what you did.
5. Give your friend the love: It's when you remind him/her of how important they are to you, elaborate on why it is this way. Hopefully this would helps in triggering the memories of how good you have always been.
6. Make a promise: "Promises are meant to be broken are BULLSHIT!" Vow never to do this ever again, and make good word of it. You may also ask them, "How can I make it up to you?" because there might be specific things that they're searching for. Plus it puts the ball back at their court.
7. Lastly, Be patient: It take time even for the most heartfelt apologies to soak in. You'd just have to gain back their trust slowly.
